Welcome to my monthly newsletter, Attunement!
Each month we “tune into” a theme related to mindfulness and
explore a creative practice and tune based on this theme!
This month of November we’re TUNING INTO the frequency of:
OUR INNER “GUEST HOUSE”
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.-Attrituted to Rumi (13th century Persian poet, scholar, & Sufi mystic) (Translated by Coleman Barks)
The above poem, “The Guest House,” is often shared in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and other mindfulness courses. I like the image of an inner guest house existing inside our heart-mind. Instead of thinking, Ugh, I don't want to feel this, the poem invites us to practice curiosity with those emotional "visitors" who drop in, sometimes unexpectedly. "Oh, hello, anger. You're here." Or, "I see you're at the door, sadness; come on in."
It might be helpful to the visitors as the emotion characters from Disney's Inside Out 2.
"Treat each guest honorably", the poem says. This can be a tall order when the guests of the moment appear as "a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture."
But if we can see our inner guest house as an ongoing practice, not as a finite structure, we may find that, over time, our tolerance for our inner emotional visitors grows.
What exactly are we practicing?
Radical acceptance, non-judgment, compassion, and equanimity.
Welcoming an emotion into our guest house doesn't mean we have to act on it or even like it. It just means we're willing to let it be with us without immediately trying to push it away, fix it, or make it something different.
In Buddhist psychology, feelings are not permanent identities or fixed truths; they are transient conditions that come and go. When we can remember this, we save ourselves suffering. We don't suffer simply because a difficult emotion arises. Instead, suffering comes from our resistance these unpleasant feelings (and our clinging to the pleasant ones, hoping they'll never leave).
The poem closes with the line: “Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” I don't think “the great beyond” has to be interpreted in an esoterically spiritual way. Rather, we might simply practice gratitude for whatever emotions show up, because when we've noticed an emotion inside ourselves, we've practiced mindfulness. And mindfulness can be a guide. It helps us see the habits of our minds and gives us the pause we need to respond more skillfully instead of reacting automatically to whatever arises.
With the really tough emotions--anxiety, depression, grief, shame--maybe you can't always "meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in." But perhaps you can practice taking a deep breath, opening the door, and reminding yourself that no guest stays forever.
Creative Mindfulness Practice:
What Kind of Host Am I?
What you'll need: A pen/pencil and journal, or just a few minutes to sit in silence.
Instructions: Consider/journal on these questions: What kind of host am I? Do I welcome certain emotions but slam the door on others? What would it mean to "treat each guest honorably"?"
NOVEMBER Events:
This Month’s Tune 🎵:
Each month I share a tune that resonates with the newsletter theme. For this month's theme of YOUR INNER GUEST HOUSE, I've chosen my original song “With Me” (from my 2022 EP Driftwood).
Listen to it HERE on Spotify, and HERE on Apple Music.
Here are the lyrics:
I know I don’t have a lot of patience / But it gets old living with my pain
I’ve been told that my worry is a teacher / But I’m scared that clouds will only lead to rain
I try to pause and breathe to make the sadness leave
But all it does is keep it here, with me
I know that it’s mind over matter / And that I should not trust every thought
I’ve been told that my thoughts are not who I am / But I fall into that sticky web and get caught
I try to pause and breathe to make the worries leave
But all it does is keep them here, with me
When the ground is all rabbit holes / And nothing’s under control
I search the world for what makes sense / I plant some seeds and build a fence
I guard my heart, but you get in
I know I don’t know what’s round the next curve / And that every day is open wide
You say I won’t feel this way forever / And that you’ll always find me when I hide
So I can pause and breathe / And let the feelings be
And know that they may not always be with me
Wishing you a welcoming November.
❤️, Katy
